DON'T STRESS THE SMALL STUFF

Many thanks to my good friend C who sent this.  It's very true!

A young lady confidently walked around the room while leading and explaining stress management to an audience; with a raised glass of water, and everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, 'half empty or half full?'..... she fooled them all... "How heavy is this glass of water?", she inquired with a smile.
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter.  It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."
She continued, "and that's the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden
becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."
"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden - holding stress longer and better each time practiced.
So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night... pick them up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment. Relax, pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it and the now 'supposed' stress that you've conquered!"
1 * Accept the fact that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue!
2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
4 * Drive carefully... It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker..
5 * If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague
6 * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it..
7 * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
8 * Never buy a car you can't push.
9 * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
10 * Nobody cares if you can't dance well.  Just get up and dance.
11 * Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
12 * The second mouse gets the cheese.
13 * When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

WHAT USE IS THE JOB CENTRE?

All we ever seem to see and hear at the moment is how many unemployed people there are, how bad youth unemployment is, should we expect the unemployed to work as slave labour etc etc.

Unemployment is a huge problem, especially at a time of severe cutbacks in government spending.  This is having the effect of throwing thousands more onto the unemployment register, with the resulting drop in economic activity which in turn results in yet more job losses.

So what happens to those who have never had a job or only had one for a short time or who go from one dead-end part-time post to another with unemployed periods in between?  They sign on at the local job centre.  And what happens then?  Well, as far as I can see, not much.  You fill in forms, get an appointment and get sent off to tote your CV round local businesses.  You may get offered help to improve the CV and you may get tips on how best to interview but do job centres really do anything to help folk get a proper job? 

 If you have one of those increasingly popular (with employers) 0 hours contracts (ie casual work by another name) you may need to sign on if you have weeks with fewer that 16 hours or even  0 hours. You will find the system so organised that between reporting to the centre and your actual interview you get more hours in work so you never actually sign on so you don't get any money for the week or so when you had no paid hours.  Not a happy situation to be in.

The idea at the moment is to send these undeserving ones on unpaid work experience.  For some it does result in a job but for most it is a demoralising experience, and one which, should they decide they have had enough and quit, may cost them 2 week's allowance.  If these placements had proper training it might be acceptable but for many, including unemployed graduates, the work is little better than floor sweeping and shelf stacking.  It has to be asked whether some businesses are using these work placements as a constant stream of free labour instead of employing the staff they really need.  Questions are being asked and many firms are pulling out of the scheme.  Tesco has changed the way it offers these placements.  It now offers a choice of staying on benefit or receiving a small wage with a job at the end of a satisfactory placement,  So it can be done.

And what of all those who can't be offered a Tesco placement?  This is my solution.

Everyone who signs on is assessed on spoken English.  Whether UK English is their first language or not this needs assessing.  It doesn't matter how folk speak to family or friends they need a reasonable level of fairly standard English in the workplace, whatever the job. If a signee has a very marked accent, whether Pakistani, broad Irish, broad Scots, Liverpudlian, Japanese or whatever and if they are not readily comprehensible they need help.  This isn't racist or bigoted it's just common sense.  If someone says 'init' every couple of words they need help to adapt a more standard speech for the workplace.

Can the person read fluently?  We live in a literate world and if you can't read or you read badly then you are severly hadicapped when it comes to getting a job.  So if signees have poor reading skills they should get literacy classes.

Assess written English   Ditto.  If you can't spell common words and fill in a form you are severely limited.  Job centres should provide appropriate classes.

Can they add up?    Again if you can't cope with basic arithmetic, money and measurements there are almost no jobs for which you can successfully apply so you need lessons to fill this gap.

Do you get the picture?  Our politicians deplore the fact that many youngsters are leaving school ill equipped with the basics but no-one seems to want to plug this gap to help folk get jobs.  It wouldn't cost very much. Instead of over-paid consultants employed via their own companies, thus avoiding income tax, you contract properly qualified teachers, pay them the going rate (far less than any consultant) and since they will pay income tax the government will recoup some of the cost anyway.

Once people have the basics, and they could be required to attend classes with a good will or lose benefit, then you can look at other skills they need to get and keep a job.  Can they operate a simple office programme on a computer?  Almost every job now has some element requiring computer skills.  Teach them these basics.  It's a no-brainer.

Basic Food Hygiene  can be taught and assessed in a couple of days.  Likewise NEBOSH health and safety qualifications.  If you put claimants who need help through basic courses like these they will have much improved self esteem, not to mention a much improved CV.  they will become employable.

At the moment job centres do little or nothing to help unqualified people get qualified.  There is no reason why staff from libraries and the local college cannot come and meet groups to tell them what is available in their centres and encourage them to come and try things out.  Remember,  most  long -term unemployed people have low self-esteem, no confidence and may not even know where the library or college is.  They haven't the confidence to enrol for an electrician's course or a plasterer's course.  Surely job centres should be helping folk into work in whatever way they can, and this should include helping them to find the right training course.

My son has been in and out of work for 10 years.  In his experience the one thing which would have helped him into work would have been to learn to drive.  He asked about learning to drive so he would be more employable and was told it would not even be considered. This sort of training is never offered.  Why not?  It would be much more practical than the 'polish up you CV' route.  If you cannot drive then half the available jobs are closed to you.

How much does it cost to train as a forklift truck operator?  More than someone on benefit can pay.  Likewise the HGV qualification.  If we are serious about reducing unemployment we must put our money (probably not very much money) where our mouth is.  Or do we just want a huge pool of undeserving poor at the bottom of the heap so we can keep the trade unions in check?

12 THINGS MY DENTIST AND HYGIENIST TOLD ME

1        Use a good quality electric toothbrush.

2        Brush twice a day, no more.  You can damage the enamel if you over brush.

3        Don't use mouthwash straight after brushing.  You will wash off the active fluoride in the toothpaste.

4        Use mouthwash after lunch.  Don't brush a third time.

5        If you have sensitive teeth rub a little sensitive toothpaste onto each sore tooth before you go to bed.

6        If you are using the special Corsodyl gel make sure you have someone with you the first time.  Very occasionally there is an adverse reaction which may require hospitalisation.

7        Use a good toothpaste.  If you have sensitive teeth use a special toothpaste.

8        There have been some problems with the very latest Sensodyne toothpaste so if it hurts your teeth through the enamel (like it did me) stop using it.

9         If you have pain in the jaw see your dentist not your doctor.

10       If you use the Codsodyl gel don't use it at the same time as toothpaste because it affects the fluoride in the toothpaste. 

11       Use the little brushes to clean between the teeth each night.  Use the gel 3 times a week with the brushes.

12       Change the little brushes every week and your toothbrush every 3 months or less.

HOW I LEARNED TO LOVE MY DENTAL HYGIENIST

 With advancing age I daily expect to lose my teeth and land up with dentures, as our parents did.  I have had quite a lot of pain along the jaw in the last 6 months or so and have twice been to the doctor for antibiotics.  I go twice yearly for dental checks.

During the last 7 days I have had 2 visits to my dental hygienist, on the orders of my dentist.  Poor woman, I went in with so much baggage.  I started in as I was taking off my coat unloading all my negative feelings re dentists and hygienists etc

All through my childhood visiting the dentist meant pain.  I didn't have one visit which didn't hurt.  In those days Mum stayed in the waiting room whilst the child was taken into the dental surgery.  It never occurred to me that there was such a thing as pain relief and so each visit he would find a cavity, which hurt.  Then the next visit was the filling, also very painful.   I even had a tooth extraction with ineffectual pain relief and I felt everything.  Not until I was a teenager did it occur to me to mention the pain.  My mother had no idea that I was suffering.  She thought I was just making a fuss.  Not until I found a different dental surgeon after I left home did I experience pain-free dentistry.  To this day I tense up as soon as I walk through the door.
 

When I lived in the Isle of Man I had my wisdom teeth removed under general anaesthetic.  Alas, they removed all 4 and stitched the gums.  They left the stitches in for a fortnight which meant I couldn't eat because I couldn't open my mouth!  Great way to lose weight though.

Then the last visit I had had to a dental hygienist resulted in gum recession.  She told me to change the way I brushed, angling the brush up and under the gum.  4 years later I went to the dentist with generalised toothache and she told me my teeth were fine but that I had gum recession, hence the pain and to stop angling the brush up into the gum. I naturally blame that hygienist.

So I took all this in with me and unloaded it all onto my new hygienist.  And what was more there were no arms on the dental chair.  What was I supposed to clutch in  my agony?

She was brilliant and soothed me down.  When I said I expected to find her treatment very painful she calmly said she could 'numb me up' and that's exactly what she did.  So, although a bit strange and uncomfortable the root debridement was pain free.  When I had the second treatment on the other side of my face I did experience pain in a tooth she wasn't actually treating.  She stopped immediately and fetched the dentist, who examined the tooth in question and discovered a fracture in the tooth.  So now I have wonderfully clean teeth,  no infection in my gums and another appointment to fix the tooth.  And no toothache.

She also gave me a set of 3 little brushes to clean the gaps between my teeth and showed me how to use them, as well as a sample of gel to use 3 times a week with the brushes.

So, next time your dentist recommends the hygienist GO.  And if you have pain along your jaw line go to your dentist not your doctor.

FOOD BAGS

I have just given a bag of food to a lady calling at the Vicarage.  It's a few weeks since we had a similar call, though in the weeks leading up to Christmas we had many such callers.

In the last 15 years it has become quite a frequent occurrence.  People call and ask for food for many reasons, though it's not my place to ask for those reasons.  Some say they are waiting for their benefit to arrive.  This may be a fact or a con but unless individuals come too often we always give them something.  Some say they have just moved.  Some are very apologetic. And some are alcoholics, but they still need to eat.  Almost all who come are embarrassed to be asking for something as basic as food.

It's a sad fact of modern life that we get callers like this.  But I have personal experience of living on the breadline and family experience of staggering financially from one day to the next on benefits, and I know how it can be just too much to make the money stretch to buy everything you need. 

I have only ever turned two people away and both times it was because the individuals had come too frequently.  Once a week and we will help.  More often and they're taking advantage.  

Of course, we never give money.  If we did, the news would soon reach the ears of every con artist in town so we give food which we know cannot be turned into drugs or alcohol but only a meal.

WHAT'S IN EACH BAG?

Bearing in mind that callers may only have a kettle and no oven (we have had one caller who lived in a derelict building with no facilities at all) we put a bag of basics together.  

bread

margarine

teabags                                                         

milk

instant soups

pot noodles (in case they only have a kettle)

canned food such as beans, soup, ravioli etc

jam

At a pinch the canned stuff can be eaten cold.

It's a difficult balancing act to give enough for a couple of days whilst not making folk dependent on handouts.  In rare cases we know the people well and so can tailor what's in the bag to their family needs.

In one parish we had a family of failed asylum seekers.  Although we felt that the family should return to their homeland because there didn't seem to be a good reason not to, nevertheless we couldn't let them go hungry.  As failed asylum seekers they were not entitled to benefits and so had no income at all.  How many more are there in that position?  

We read in the press how food banks are becoming increasingly needed.  How sad in this day and age.

We live in an affluent country but in times of austerity and ever more stringent cuts in central and local government budgets how many more folk will arrive on our doorstep asking for food?

BURN'S NIGHT

BURN'S NIGHT SUPPER

27.20.2012

Burn's Night! We set up and laid the tables yesterday and all the cooking is done so all we have to do today is collect the bread and plug in the slow cookers. J and B are cooking the haggis, neeps and tatties and that will go into the hostess trolley so no-one should be in the kitchen at all after about 6pm.

5pm Our friends have not arrived yet. I hope they left enough time for the journey as they are bringing the vegan haggis for the non meat eaters.

6pm U arrives, rather late.. ….hold up on the motorway. He's our MC and a genuine Scot.  He changes hastily into his kilt etc and we then discover we need a lead to connect the laptop to the church music system. Completely forgotten about the vagaries of our system.  Desperate phone call and one arrives.

Still no sign of our friends. We finish setting up. I fit in 2 extra places, 1 I'd forgotten about and 1 for a favour to a friend. The trifles have arrived safely, including an enormous one which will feed at least 20.  The cheese and oat cakes are ready so all we need are the people.

7.15pm folk are beginning to arrive, some in highland garb and most clutching bottles of wine and whisky. Looks like it will be a good night.

7.30pm We should be starting but as the chap doing one of the speeches is not here yet we'll have to wait a bit. Our friends have arrived and so their haggis goes into the microwave. What did we do before microwaves?

At last everyone, bar 2, is here so we start. Introductions for those who have never experienced a Burn's Night Supper  followed by good homemade soup. The missing 2 arrive and tuck in. There's a quiz for folk to do as the evening goes on, prize a bottle of whisky and people are getting going on that. U asks if we have organised the haggis procession and of course we've forgotten so friend and son are hastily instructed and 4 bottles of whisky borrowed. One has been opened so let's hope it doesn't leak.

The address to the haggis leaves many bemused (most of us are not Scots) but we laugh as the friend, son and U knock back their whisky in one (son was not expecting that!) and we all join in with more moderate sips. The meal continues, haggis course followed by beef / chicken casserole, then trifle, cheese, biscuits and coffee.

So then to the speeches. The address to the lassies is a lovely tribute to we ladies. My reply is a bit more barbed, filled out with jokes sent via the internet, but it seems to be received OK. Then we have a couple of songs and U does his tribute to Rabbie Burns. The quiz is sorted and the prizes awarded. The dirty plates etc are piled into bags ready to go to the vicarage dishwasher and the dancing commences with a Gay Gordon's.

As the evening and drinking continue the dancing becomes increasingly hilarious and folk who didn't think they could dance or would want to dance discover that actually they can and so they do.  Eventually we realisse we will have to finish to allow folk to get home so Auld Lang Syne it is.

11.30pm Time to stagger home and load the dishwasher. Everyone seems to have had an excellent time so we book U for the last Friday in January 2013 and put out the empties.

As we leave my friend S, who did a lot of the cooking, suggests a barn dance. What a good idea. We'll have to look into it.

useful links

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Burnshttp
www.robertburns.org/works/
http://www.bbc.co.uk/arts/robertburns